If PHP Were British

I was browsing a popular social media site the other day, when I came across a link entitled “If PHP Were British.” I started laughing out loud (for real) just a few paragraphs in.

When Rasmus Lerdorf first put PHP together, he – quite sensibly, despite his heritage – chose not to write it in Greenlandic or Danish. Good job too – that would have been rather unpleasant to work with. He opted instead, being in Canada at the time, for the local tongue. No, not French – that bastard dialect of the Queen’s English commonly referred to as “US English”.

PHP developers in Britain have been grumpy about this ever since. What was he thinking? And more importantly, how do we undo this travesty?

The rest of the post is a series of suggested “improvements” to PHP, which give it a more “British” feel. I won’t spoil them for you, as a few of them a hilarious.

If PHP Were British [Added Bytes]